Here's hoping that I'll be able to help others out.
I've noticed a lot had been going through a lot lately, personal issues that we may or may not want to talk about irl or online.
So here I'm not even sure if people will actually want to read my walls of text, but I'm writing this hoping that I may be able to help out others in times of pain, hopelessness and anguish.
Before you proceed, may I just remind you... you are NOT alone. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
All of us go through something horrible enough to get beyond depressed, but hear me out... ALL OF US GO THROUGH THAT. One point in our lives or another, all of us go through that.
Now it's up to you if you wanna give up or keep trying.
Okay, so here's the deal... honestly? I was going through the worst
depression I've ever had in my life just recently. I was depressed to the point that I couldn't eat, I'd loathe
myself, loathe everyone involved directly or indirectly,
ask myself where I've gone wrong, and well, let's just say it wasn't pretty for my side.
I wouldn't go in detail, but just for you guys who are concerned no, I did NOT go cutting myself. My point at the time was, "I don't wanna be hurt anymore, I'm sick of it. Why would I want to keep hurting myself by cutting myself?"
I was too depressed to write, draw, I kept on neglecting myself, but honestly I was happy I was sane enough to take good care of my grades and my relationships, especially irl. I'm not exactly a social butterfly, but I do have cool friends irl I could trust. As a Christian, I'd thank God that He gave me enough strength to pull through that, but only barely.
Some advices I got from my depression?
Stay away from the people that make you feel like shit.
It's true. I was in a stage of utter denial because I believed SO MUCH in certain people, I trusted them so much. I hardly trust anyone; hardly. And usually I give many chances til I break and there's pretty much 0% for me to be okay with you again... unless of course, I see you're actually
sincere. I recognise efforts, I really do.
I don't expect my friends to be actual angels, or to be there for me 24/7... honestly? We could stop talking for years and still be close provided we maintain our same friendship, or you don't make me feel like you replaced me.
The sooner you can accept that you have to let go of a ridiculously toxic relationship, the better. It's good to give chances, but think of both your well-being. It wouldn't be good for you to keep on going with a toxic relationship, and the person you're with wouldn't be good with you not being okay with them.
Keep in mind that just because you're not compatible with them does not mean they're evil/bad.
It just means you're not meant to be with each other. They aren't exclusively mutual traits.
Some things I've learned while fighting depression...
Had I completely convinced myself that I was worthless and all my friends were happy leaving me, I wouldn't be here right now. It's not just friend problems, it's also irl problems that kept me repeating to myself... "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?! WHY DO THEY ENJOY ALIENATING ME?? IT'S HORRIBLE. ONLINE OR REAL LIFE, IT'S HORRIBLE. I'm doing my best to get along... maybe I'm wrong..."
Went on for more than a year.
But see, last year I felt horrible and useless; all those understatements. I'm not sure if I was making my depression obvious enough... it was honestly embarrassing to think about it, but whatever.
Now I'm happier. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the people I've let go, but I was happier... and well, it's their
lives to live, not mine. So whether or not they're happy is none of my concern, although I'd pray that they be enlightened for their own good in the long run. To be enlightened means they would be happy because they are given what is rightfully theirs.
I'm happier now; I've met a lot of awesome people both irl and online, and all of them, though not necessarily too close to me, have made me realise there's still hope. That I may actually have some self-worth. I have a part-time job I'm currently enjoying a lot, and I also am attending graduate school during weekends.
I've broadened my horizons, seen different stories, and am beginning to focus on priorities in life.
I'm aware that most of my watchers/friends are younger than me. Probably tons younger.This is what I always wanted to say.
Young people. If you feel horrible,
WAIT FOR YOUR TIME TO SHINE.
You may just be late bloomers. A wise woman once told me that. I almost forgot her words... but you know? It was true.
Let's just say my school life wasn't the best. I'm not popular, and most people define me as a weirdo upon knowing I love drawing or games (which I barely have the time for), and conclude it's what I'm all about.
But now that I've finished my studies and am trying to move on a new chapter in my life, I found out her words were true. I'm beginning to feel that I'm starting to have a purpose in life, and that I'm slowly making myself shine thanks to the never-ending support of my family and friends.
Life is a spiral. You may go back to the same point over and over, but you ARE MAKING PROGRESS. Slowly, but surely.
You WILL shine someday. Maybe not now, but keep your head up, keep on going, and you will shine.
Another thing I want to add:Live up to your principles.
That's the only thing you can't give up! I want to tell you this:
"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost;
when health is lost, something is lost;
when character is lost, all is lost."
- Billy Graham
Never EVER give in to peer pressure. Never mind if they call you killjoy! If it goes against your principles, and if you know in your heart that what you're doing is wrong... would that make you happy in the long run? Keep asking yourself what's in it for you in the long run, and not just temporary happiness.
Principles, dignity, and happiness are the only things that people can't take away from you. Why would you give them away for something so trivial like popularity? Fame? Just to be the talk of the town?
Remember... you're still young. Priorities change.
You CAN be somebody even by being yourself and living up to your principles. It's what makes you YOU. It's cool to try to fit in with the crowd. Although...
NEVER give up your principles just to fit in.
By all means, fit in! We are social beings, no matter how introverted we are. But if it means that you have to give up your principles... you're probably hanging out with the wrong people.
REAL FRIENDS WILL ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WON'T TELL YOU TO CHANGE YOURSELF TO FIT IN.
It means that they respect you enough. Another thing...
REAL FRIENDS WILL TELL YOU IF WHAT YOU'RE DOING WILL HURT YOU, AND WILL NOT CONSENT YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR.
It may hurt... but you see, if your friends ACTUALLY care, they'd speak up and tell you off because THEY'RE AFRAID that you'd be hurt! Now if all they want is fun fun fun... be careful. Chances are, they may not deeply care for you.
Here's a tip:
Look at how people treat their enemies. Because if you get on their wrong side? THAT'S how they're gonna treat you.
Fighting for what you believe is right is more admirable.
I'm not a war freak. I know people have different interests, beliefs, principles, etc. and I respect that, which is why I am hoping that people respect me in return. I am Christian, but I will by no means, try forcing my beliefs on you. But I will ask you not to blaspheme my God in front of me. I'm honestly happy that you are all very respectful... thank you.
What I meant by fighting for what you believe is right, is that you don't go looking for trouble. People think that by looking for trouble, it's how they defend their beliefs. I am not even going to go in circles. I've seen this a LOT on the web, especially on sites like Tumblr. In fact, I need not go as far as Tumblr... even here in deviantART! Even in real life! Look around.
I'm not saying it generally, but it's what's surfacing. I know for a fact that THERE ARE MANY GENUINELY KIND PEOPLE, but it's those that aren't that show their faces with pride.
So many people disrespecting others... and you think that's funny? You feel proud of yourselves? I'm honestly disgusted AND sad that it's how you feel... then you'd expect that they treat you with respect too. That's not how it works.
If they're rude towards you, by all means you may defend yourself, but do it with diplomacy.Don't stoop down to their level.
We don't need their kind in this world. We need more kindness and understanding; very ideal, very cliche, but sadly a rarity.
People who know better, as much as it's hard to move on, try to make negative things to positive.
It may take you long, probably years, but with the right mindset... you're going to find yourself having progress.
I know the trend today is to call yourself trash, and I... honestly don't know how that's funny. I honestly think that it's one way to make you laugh at yourself, some may not even take it seriously and just say "lol chill I don't even mean it"
ALL jokes start off with that.
"Lol I don't even mean it" but see? What once started as a joke, is what you're living out as because you don't even know but you're convincing yourself of it! You know the power of advertising? You're doing it to yourself.
Slowly but surely... you're convincing yourself to live out something. You may not realise it until it's too late.
Look, instead of putting yourself down, give yourself SMART goals:
Don't be a cloud cuckoo lander and dream of things that are impossibly ridiculous; give yourself actual goals that you will fulfill someday.
DON'T give yourself too much expectations
DON'T limit your happiness
BE HAPPY with what you have
MAKE THE BEST of what you have
Could I just say that the very fact that you have time and internet connection to even read this is a blessing alone? Yes, it is! For somebody typing this who lives in a third-world country... I am very well aware that you're indeed very lucky to even have those.
Listen, you may not have all the things in the world, but you definitely have something.
DON'T look at other's blessings
LOOK AT YOUR OWN
No matter how dark everything may get, just remember;
In sales, 1% chance of a customer buying your product is better than 0%
Now speaking about life:Having 1% of getting better is ALWAYS better than 0%.
As long as you're breathing and living, there's hope. Emotions are sometimes... maybe usually a traitor, but manage them well and think things rationally and you should be fine.
Me? I have the worst temper. I usually tend to let my feelings get the better of me... BUT. I always tell myself to THINK about my decisions.
LIFE IS FULL OF DECISIONS.
In fact, choosing not to make a decision is a decision in itself.
Always choose to do what you believe is morally good; choose the lesser evil when worse to worst comes.
Also, when something bad happens to you, think of it as a blessing in disguise.
The difficult people you come across? Be grateful; they're showing you EXACTLY what you don't want to be, and they're helping you grow as a person. See, you'd grow stronger than ever before!
Don't wish them misfortune; wish instead for them to realise and learn of their wrongdoings, and be better persons.
Learn to forgive. It may take you a long while, but you have to learn to forgive to at least give yourself some inner peace.
I won't lie; it takes me very long to forgive someone. In fact, as much as I try to convince myself to forgive them... I can't. I just can't... not yet. Don't force yourself if you're not ready, but don't be stuck on being unforgiving. Forgiving doesn't mean you and the person/s in question need to be the way you were before; rather, you make peace for both your side and the other's side.
My friend helped me think of it this way:These hardships are boss battles you gotta face.
By the end of the boss battles, you'd be horribly drained; almost dead! But you see, you just gotta find that piece of heart to get yourself up and running again... and by the end, you're much stronger!
I'd also love to think that well... these bad things happen to me so I can help people someday. So that I can tell people straight in the eye, "YOU'RE NOT ALONE". So that I can do my best to help them, though I may not know the exact details of what they're going through.
Now if by any means, anyone wants to ask for advice, or just have somebody to talk to... don't worry, I don't bite. I WILL however say this; I'm horribly blunt and honest, but that's just how I am. I do NOT like shaming people. I am a private person. I am HORRIBLY disgusted
by people who shame others, especially when I think they should know better.
“Don't blow off another's candle for it won't make yours shine brighter.”
― Jaachynma N.E. Agu, The Prince and the Pauper
To be happy in life, be content with what you have. Don't put others down just to make yourself look better.
HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF.
They're better than you in some things? Fine, but you're ALSO better than them in other things; you may just not have realised it yet.
Even if others look like they have everything... they don't.
YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR CHOICE.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME.
Don't pressure yourself.
What is for you will come for you.
Chase after your dreams, but don't call yourself a failure if you don't meet them. Remember; what is best for you will come. You may want this one thing, but it may not suit you. OR, it may suit you, but it will only be given to you at the right time, when you are READY.
I am just another person from the web typing; but I'm hoping that with what I have written, I may have helped one way or another. I am NOT saying I'm 100% right, but I am speaking from experience. I am aware that I have still a lot to learn, but what I have learned so far, I would love to share it... because I will never know if I may have helped someone by simply sharing what I know.