The bad news? My netbook died of blue screen and I hope you can all attend its funeral </3
but no seriously, I guess the only drawings I can do is doodles like my Heliosphere concepts from last year.
And I felt sick all week... thankfully I got enough rest and I'm now feeling better! It's the stupid weather... weather's CRAAAAZY here I tell ya. You will never be a global warming skeptic if you lived where I live.
I think I'll go watch Suds in Spongebob to complete the feel hehe
On the brighter side, I think I'm finally getting a move on. To put it simply, I was sick of waiting... I had a really
bad turn with my now ex-friend, and I was willing to give them a chance IF they stopped talking vaguely or stopped beating around the bush.
I was looking for something simple: sincerity. But I didn't see anything of the sort, which disappointed me.
I am NOT naming names and I'm willing to drop the issue. It's been so long and I'm convinced that I can't ever hope the said person will ever get better. In all honesty, I think they're getting worse by the day... sad, I used to think they were cool.
Lost a few followers/watchers in the process of moving on, but I'm so glad awesome people like you were patient enough with me. It's true that during your dark times, that's when you meet your real friends.
You don't run away from your friends when they trust you. So what have I learned?
Hopefully my experience will help others realise they are not alone:
Friendship, like marriage, is not like rice that you spit out when your tongue gets burned.
Don't be a kissup. Nobody likes a kissup. Nobody EVER takes a kissup seriously, not even the person you're kissing up to.
There WILL be people who will leave you for their own reasons; some shallow, some reasonable. It all depends on the ideals and situation.
Be thankful of horrible people. It is because of them that you get to grow into a stronger, better person.
Everyone, even bullies, have friends. It is because all kinds of people have people who sympathise with them.
You don't expect to get an A when you study for a B. Don't expect to have the best, loyal friends, if you're not a good friend yourself.
Mature. Grow up. Learn to take account for your actions and don't run away from responsibility.
Fans =/= friends. Some fans will be friends, but most wouldn't. They don't like you
, they like what they can get from you.
No amount of fame will ever make you happy if you lack real friends who will love you despite your faults, so don't aspire to become "popular" or "internet-famous" to make up for your lack of friends.
Don't let "internet fame" get to your head. Get off your high horse. There's more to life than "trying too hard to be popular". Try getting a life outside of your computer screen.
Choose your friends wisely. It doesn't matter how many friends you have, it's how true they are to you that really matters.
One tip to learn who your real friends are: they see you in your darkest times, but they NEVER judge you, they NEVER run away from you, and they NEVER let you become a worse person. They will help you become a better person. It may hurt, but like what they say, "this is for your own good".
Trust your gut feeling. If you feel something bad from the beginning, 90% of the chance, it's true. It's saved me a lot of times.
Expect the unexpected. I never expected any of this, so prepare your heart and mind for anything that comes your way.
It's OKAY to vent. It's okay to feel bad. But should you choose to vent in public, NEVER call out on the person. It's okay to let it out, but do your best to retain as much diplomacy as you can and keep the anonymity of the person.
There will be people who will break your trust. Some will never take responsibility from their actions and will be the same horrible people they were... or worse. Learn to give your trust only to those deserving of it.
NEVER make yourself a worse person. Happiness is a choice. The sweetest revenge you can give someone is by proving them you're a much better person after what they put you through, and everything you've been through. Don't do it for them, though. Do it for yourself.
Your happiness is worth everything. If you've done everything you can, exhausted all options, it's best to leave the said person/s and move on. Block them, worse comes to worse, if they don't show any remorse for their actions or any intention to apologise. Don't dwell on how great the past was. The past is just a memory. You're living in the present, so make the best of it.
It's okay to take some time to move on. Me? It took me YEARS. Mostly because everything was so heavy and complicated. Don't rush. The right time will come for you.
There will be a time where you'd remember the person/s and not feel anything towards them anymore. You won't even care anymore. This is the last stage of moving on.
Despite your temper and anger, keep in mind the other person in mind is still well... a person. No matter how irrational they can get, they have their own reasons. Unless of course if they're horribly inhumane ... then that begs the question if they are still human on the inside. Teenage years are the most delicate years of a person's life, as it is where they look for who they are... childhood is just as fragile, since that's the foundation of one's beliefs. In the end? It's still your decision to be who you want to be.
Leaving toxic people is different from leaving friends. Moving on is different from running away like a coward. It is vital to learn to differentiate the two.
The biggest room in the world? Improvement. There is always room to improve yourself. Don't rush; some bloom fast and retain it or wither early... some are late bloomers that bloom the most beautiful of them all.
I know I've learned a lot more during the whole ordeal (trust me it's complicated af) but here are what I could think of at the moment.
Updates will be rather slow since I only have my mobile. We still have a family pc but I'm not planning to use it for my personal updates.
I hope that I was able to help others here... I'm convinced all this happened because of my calling. I'm convinced that it all happened so I can help people. I won't lie; I was EXTREMELY bitter, and my close friends perfectly know how bitter I was... but it doesn't end there. It's always best to turn negative into positive.
I wouldn't have made it this far without my friends' help. I am forever grateful I was blessed with such great friends.
And with that... please have a nice day!